Dear Self-Publishing Author,
No, I can't decide the title of your book. No, I can't decide if the cover you will forward me is appropriate. These are creative, artistic decisions and, as this is self-publishing and as you are the author, you are responsible for those decisions.
Yes, I will leave a note for our design department that you want an 'odd' font to illustrate the title of your book.
Perhaps I should explain what self-publishing means (again).
Sincerely,
It's not my book.
Friday, 29 July 2011
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Communication
Dear Self-Publishing Author,
You do have the right to express yourself. I assume that is why you have written a book. However, telling me you're going to create a teeshirt that tells the world how displeased you are with my company is not productive communication.
There are doctors who are trained to listen to you vent. I am not.
Or maybe you could write another scintillating book on the subject as your talents have overwhelmed me.
Sincerely,
Not impressed.
You do have the right to express yourself. I assume that is why you have written a book. However, telling me you're going to create a teeshirt that tells the world how displeased you are with my company is not productive communication.
There are doctors who are trained to listen to you vent. I am not.
Or maybe you could write another scintillating book on the subject as your talents have overwhelmed me.
Sincerely,
Not impressed.
Monday, 25 July 2011
publishing packages
Dear Self-Publishing Author,
Please read your descriptions of what is included in your packages carefully.
Please do not act surprised when we have to charge you for more image insertions than your package allows. No, we can't insert 16 more images for free. You do read English, right?
You are at liberty to create a tee shirt that indicates your displeasure with us. I do not believe that "the only thing missing from this deal is the gun".
Sincerely,
Not owning any responsibility for this one
Please read your descriptions of what is included in your packages carefully.
Please do not act surprised when we have to charge you for more image insertions than your package allows. No, we can't insert 16 more images for free. You do read English, right?
You are at liberty to create a tee shirt that indicates your displeasure with us. I do not believe that "the only thing missing from this deal is the gun".
Sincerely,
Not owning any responsibility for this one
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Expectations
Dear Self-Publishing Author,
Please pay attention when we describe time frames. It is important to understand that we give you these time frames as guidance.
If you choose to have your work edited (which I encourage!), this will add time to that estimate.
If you choose to have an extra revision round, this will add time to your estimate.
If you need any additional services, this will add time to your estimate.
Please do not act surprised when the time estimate changes because of additional services. Unfortunately, these services take time. No I can't fit these into the original time estimate.
Please also understand that taking a strident tone and becoming rude and demanding will not alter the fact that extra services will take extra time.
Please further understand that while your changes might only take our designers a short time to complete, that you are not the only author with whom we work and it will take some time to get your piece in front of a designer. Please understand that we work with hundreds of authors and endeavor to give each author the same focussed attention. I know you are in a rush because 2012 is coming and everyone will need to read this book, but we have proceedures that must be followed.
Please be advised that telling me what other companies are doing does not alter our process, nor shorten the time it takes to produce a work of quality.
Please be advised that phoning me every other day will not alter our process, nor shorten the time it takes.
Please be advised that our book promotion department has specific experience in their areas, and while you might have graduated from journalism in 1862, that does not mean you know the best way to market your book.
Please be advised that if your target market is college age readers, it might serve you well to listen to our staff, who are college aged and know how that demographic communicates.
Please be advised that becoming obnoxious and rude will not help you achieve the results you like.
Sincerely,
Amazed at lack of courtesy, logic and professionalism of some self-publishing authors.
Please pay attention when we describe time frames. It is important to understand that we give you these time frames as guidance.
If you choose to have your work edited (which I encourage!), this will add time to that estimate.
If you choose to have an extra revision round, this will add time to your estimate.
If you need any additional services, this will add time to your estimate.
Please do not act surprised when the time estimate changes because of additional services. Unfortunately, these services take time. No I can't fit these into the original time estimate.
Please also understand that taking a strident tone and becoming rude and demanding will not alter the fact that extra services will take extra time.
Please further understand that while your changes might only take our designers a short time to complete, that you are not the only author with whom we work and it will take some time to get your piece in front of a designer. Please understand that we work with hundreds of authors and endeavor to give each author the same focussed attention. I know you are in a rush because 2012 is coming and everyone will need to read this book, but we have proceedures that must be followed.
Please be advised that telling me what other companies are doing does not alter our process, nor shorten the time it takes to produce a work of quality.
Please be advised that phoning me every other day will not alter our process, nor shorten the time it takes.
Please be advised that our book promotion department has specific experience in their areas, and while you might have graduated from journalism in 1862, that does not mean you know the best way to market your book.
Please be advised that if your target market is college age readers, it might serve you well to listen to our staff, who are college aged and know how that demographic communicates.
Please be advised that becoming obnoxious and rude will not help you achieve the results you like.
Sincerely,
Amazed at lack of courtesy, logic and professionalism of some self-publishing authors.
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