Inquiry

Dear Self-Publishing Author,

Thank you so much for your message, asking why the design department can't just follow your instructions.

Allow me to apologize for seeking clarification. It is my fault that we bothered you in an attempt to produce the best possible version of your book.

Rest assured, we will be publishing you verbatim from now on.

Sincerely,
Next time we will let you print 'ligancy' instead of 'legacy'

Communication

Dear Self-Publishing Author,

Thanks so much for your 3 emails today, demanding to speak to me about pricing of your book.

I appreciate your candor when you called our work "unacceptable" and said the cover we designed for you was "week" (sic) and that you didn't like anything about it.

Certainly that impels me to call you. No you didn't misunderstand my email from yesterday with closing statement that you are welcome to chat with me about pricing, however, I didn't see anywhere in that email that said that we chat when it's convenient for you alone.

Please let me educate you on how conversations happen: all parties need to be available.

I can't wait to help you with the last two books of your romantic-suspense trilogy. I'm sure you'll be just delightful.

Sincerely,
Can't wait to talk to you

Book Cover image

Dear Self-Publishing Author,

Thanks so much for the image to go on your book cover. When I asked you to attach it to an email, what I meant was don't include it in the body of the email.

Thanks for having your designer send it to me.

I have just one question: what kind of graphic designer doesn't know how to attach an image to an email?

Sincerely,
Is it me?