Dear Self-publishing author,
Thanks so much for your search key words. It was very helpful to receive them after your book is uploaded to our distributors and available for sale and I emailed you to that effect.
I would have hoped that you would have revised them when we were discussing them, a month ago. Thankfully, you waited until we uploaded everything about your book, because I don't know what I would have done with the extra 30 minutes to an hour that it will take me to process this direction.
I'm sure the general words you forwarded to me are much better than the specific search parameters that I suggested. But then again, God will probably help the faithful to find it, in appreciation for the love poems you have written him.
Sincerely,
Good luck finding your book on page 99,998 with those keywords
Monday, 26 September 2011
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Design Queue
Dear Self-Publishing Author,
To answer your question, yes, I would take the time to review my 100,000 word piece to make sure it is correct. I see that you haven't taken my advice, as I returned from lunch to find your eProof sign off on my desk. Sigh. I guess rather than wait two weeks for us to work up the correction you phoned me about, you decided to just rush your book out to the market.
You have paid for 3 hours of extra design time and have already purchased another proofing round, in addition to the 3 you already had. You are now back for Post-Publication Revisions. Perhaps the rush you are in has something to do with the errors you keep finding and returning for us to correct.
No, I can't shrink the Designer queue for you. Yes, I understand it is just one change and one that you say you didn't instruct us to make. I would actually disagree with your statement that it is important to get the change in front of the designers "before they forget the book". I can assure you that our designers don't memorize the projects on which they work.
I can also assure you that our designers have worked on dozens of project since yours and, as memorable as your work is, would do the same job no matter when you decide to forward the next revisions.
No, I can't put your work in front of the queue, because, as I explained to you on the phone, that would not be fair to our other authors.
I understand that your work is important and that 'everyone will want to read it before 2012' but, unfortunately, that does not justify rearranging the queue priority.
Sincerely,
See you in a couple of weeks when you discover another error.
To answer your question, yes, I would take the time to review my 100,000 word piece to make sure it is correct. I see that you haven't taken my advice, as I returned from lunch to find your eProof sign off on my desk. Sigh. I guess rather than wait two weeks for us to work up the correction you phoned me about, you decided to just rush your book out to the market.
You have paid for 3 hours of extra design time and have already purchased another proofing round, in addition to the 3 you already had. You are now back for Post-Publication Revisions. Perhaps the rush you are in has something to do with the errors you keep finding and returning for us to correct.
No, I can't shrink the Designer queue for you. Yes, I understand it is just one change and one that you say you didn't instruct us to make. I would actually disagree with your statement that it is important to get the change in front of the designers "before they forget the book". I can assure you that our designers don't memorize the projects on which they work.
I can also assure you that our designers have worked on dozens of project since yours and, as memorable as your work is, would do the same job no matter when you decide to forward the next revisions.
No, I can't put your work in front of the queue, because, as I explained to you on the phone, that would not be fair to our other authors.
I understand that your work is important and that 'everyone will want to read it before 2012' but, unfortunately, that does not justify rearranging the queue priority.
Sincerely,
See you in a couple of weeks when you discover another error.
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Book Return Insurance
Dear Self-Publishing Author,
Thank you for your phone call to let us know you would like to purchase Book Return Insurance on your book that was published 10 months ago. As I explained to you, because the information has already been uploaded to our distributors, it will take the individual bookstores time to note that change in their records.
No, I can't call them myself. There are 25,000. No, I don't know what their internal processes are or how long they will take. As I mentioned to you several times, the last author that decided post-publication to retroactively insure their book was waiting up to 4 months for a large chain to record the change.
No, I can't do anything to speed up the process, as it is not our process. At least I'm glad you now believe me that your book needs insurance to be considered by book retailers for hard copy sales.
Sincerely,
Not talking to hear the sound of my own voice
Thank you for your phone call to let us know you would like to purchase Book Return Insurance on your book that was published 10 months ago. As I explained to you, because the information has already been uploaded to our distributors, it will take the individual bookstores time to note that change in their records.
No, I can't call them myself. There are 25,000. No, I don't know what their internal processes are or how long they will take. As I mentioned to you several times, the last author that decided post-publication to retroactively insure their book was waiting up to 4 months for a large chain to record the change.
No, I can't do anything to speed up the process, as it is not our process. At least I'm glad you now believe me that your book needs insurance to be considered by book retailers for hard copy sales.
Sincerely,
Not talking to hear the sound of my own voice
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