Second Book

Dear Self-Publishing Author,

Thank you so much for your many emails. I can't tell you how much I look forward to them.

I like that you include a personal touch each time,  telling me that I have dropped the ball on your book when in fact, each and every time I was waiting on your materials.

Last week when you asked me if it was time to submit your artwork, I expected to see the artwork. My mistake. Instead I saw an email (a week later) asking about how to submit the artwork and again complaining of the time the process is taking.

As you are publishing your second book with us and have gone through this process before and are resubmitting the same artwork, I (apparently madly) assumed that you were familiar with how we do things. I sent you the instructions again and have yet to hear from you.

I'm sure you'll email me again to tell me that the non-existent progress on your book is my fault. You're right, who wants to catch flies anyway?

Sincerely,
Not your doormat...