Dear Self-Publishing Author,
Thanks so much for your numerous voicemails and countless emails in addition to the several times we spoke yesterday. Number crunching to come up with your book pricing is so much easier and quicker when you incessantly interrupt me to ask if I'm finished or to remind me that you're waiting on me.
Really? I think I would have forgotten you needed to talk to our Book Promotion Specialists ASAP because you neglected to mention it in the last 90 seconds of the previous conversation/voicemail/email. Thank you for keeping me on task.
It will be with a great deal of regret that I pass you along. I am already anticipating the joy of the marketing person who will be assigned to you. I'm looking forward to their thank-you gifts.
Sincerely,
Who wants to attract flies anyway?
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